Yoga for grief
“Grief is really just love with no place to go.”
Jamie Anderson
Grief is a natural response to loss, and it affects us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Grief does not have the same timeline for everyone; it is a complex and very individual process, in trying to recover the life one had before the loss of a dear one, either through death, separation or illness. Different bodies process pain, tension and suffering differently. The kindest thing we can do for ourselves when experiencing grief is to allow it to be there and give ourselves time to heal.
Yoga is a great form of self-care, especially meditation and any form of mindfulness, that can help us understand this lack or feeling of emptiness, often caused by grief. Yoga is not only a physical practice, it is also a way for us to tap into deep emotional experiences. Whenever we feel like we need to numb or ignore our feelings, Yoga is a reminder not to shy away from those feelings. The only way to deal with uncomfortable emotions is to stay with them and learn to embrace them, knowing that feelings are temporary. The same as our Yoga practice, one day we feel we can do so much more and our energy is perfectly aligned with our body, other days, we feel we simply want to rest more and take it slowly. The quiet, still space that meditation offers or gives back to us teaches us the feelings that would arise, however painful. Only then we can understand healing and why we need it.
What hides behind any loss is a feeling of grief. Grief is a complex phenomenon. One day, we might feel fine and the other, we feel like we have an out-of-body experience and that the grief we experience is an endless feeling, a burden that we will have to carry throughout our entire lives. However, we always have to pass through the clouds in order to reach for the sun. We aren't always going to experience happiness in life, but moments like this may, in time, help us to appreciate life even more.
If we want to enroll in a Yoga practice that supports grief , we need to stay consistent and committed in order to see results in weeks or months. Also, the emotions we might experience are translatable physically, so we need to be aware of them showing up in different ways such as clenched jaw, a tight chest, stiff hips and so on, and then potentially learn to let them go. First, we need to acknowledge where in our bodies we are storing this grief.
Grief can manifest in surprisingly complex ways, like anxiety, sadness, guilt, restlessness, increased heart rate, sleep disturbance and so on. We as teachers need to create a safe space for Yoga practitioners in order to address these emotions and potentially heal these experiences. For example, a soothing tone of voice, the careful use of words, space for some journaling, props, candles and so on, make for a safer and compassionate space in which practitioners can find themselves more at ease to express parts of the grieving process, as well as develop coping mechanisms. Moreover, a gentle pace of Yoga, whether we are referring to Yoga Nidra or Yin Yoga, can help with treating our bodies with more compassion in these challenging moments, acknowledging the importance of stopping and letting go, feeling truly held and supported. Furthermore, Yoga can further enhance a feeling of community, where there is opportunity to connect to people experiencing similar emotions and tap into a spiritual exploration which can lead to a sense of purpose. Private Yoga sessions are also possible for anyone experiencing grief as too overwhelming and wanting to take Yoga more gradually, without any peer pressure. However, Yoga is not a substitute for counseling or therapy, which is much needed in these moments, still it can offer a valid complementary support.
According to Traditional Chinese Medicine and Yin Yoga, grief is the emotion associated with the metal element, autumn season and the meridians of the lungs and large intestine. The metaphor here for grief is the ability to let go– of what no longer serves us, of bottled feelings, emotions. Moreover, every asana targeting the Throat and Heart chakra (Vishuddha and Anahata) is helpful in releasing and healing further manifestations of grief. Forward folding poses, in general as a natural way of the body to want to curl in during these moments, also help to calm and balance the nervous system, as well as lengthen the body when muscles feel tight or contracted, also in the process of experiencing grief. My personal favourite pose for this is Reclining Bound Angle pose, which is tremendously restorative and beneficial, encouraging surrender and acceptance. However, any posture that reduces physical and emotional suffering is beneficial, e.g. Child’s Pose, Supported Bridge pose etc.
All in all, Yoga allows us to stay with opposing thoughts, simply witnessing them. It allows us to sit with grief and at the same time create a space where we can still connect to the present and to the love that we carry inside of us. There are ways to transform this path of grief into a path of healing and self-care. Eventually, as we find healing and wholeness, we also find a greater awareness of life’s preciousness and significance.
***************************************************************
